Office Of Grand Ayatollah Sayyed M.S.Al-Hakeem


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Parents
Q [1]  I find it difficult to obey and treat my grandparents exactly like my parents and sometimes behave wrongly with them, while I do not do bad with my parents.
Is the status in Islam of grandparents same as the parents?
Although it is not obligatory to treat the grandparents in the manner one should treat the parents, and the strong ties that one has with his parents may not be with one’s grandparents too, there is no doubt that dealing with the grandparents in a good manner is a good thing.
Q [2]  I want to become a religious scholar and acquire religious education, but my parents are not happy and want me to continue secular education. Is it obligatory on me to obey my parents in this situation?
It is not obligatory to obey the father. What is obligatory is to be dutiful to him and to have a good relationship with him, although we advise you to convince him and take his permission as much as possible as this is one of the reasons of blessings.
Q [3]  If a person's parents used to be wrong-doers, but now have repented, but the son's memories of how they used to wrong people enrages him, what would be his position on the Day of Judgment because of his feelings?
It is better to deal with them in a kind way, even if they have committed bad deeds.
Q [4]  Is it true that the one who annoys his parents and hurts them, their prayers and fasts will not be accepted and they will go to hell?
There is no doubt that being ungrateful to one's parents (Uqooq) in any form is amongst the greatest prohibitions the doer of which has been promised by Almighty Allah to be punished in hellfire.
Q [5]  I live with my mother; I have not lived away from home without my mother hardly ever. What does Islam say about living away from home?
Living with the mother is not obligatory, but you should communicate with her even by visiting her or telephone contact.
Q [6]  If a mother has done wrong, and her son points it out to her causing her to become upset with him, has the son sinned?
It is not obligatory to obey the mother and follow her views but it is obligatory to deal with her with kindness and good manners, even if she decided to become upset with her son.
Q [7]  My mother does not wear Hijab. Whenever I advise her on this matter, she gets angry with me and does not listen. Is it permissible for me to stop advising her?
If she does not accept your advice, then there is not prohibited to stop advising her. You should know that her continuation in committing sins does not remove the obligation on you to be dutiful to her and treat her good as a mother since it is obligatory to be dutiful to the parents whether they are pious or not.
When you treat her nicely – in accordance to the religion teachings – she might feel the mercy and goodness in the religious teachings which may become a reason for her guidance and obedience to the religious obligations and duties in the future.
Q [8]  Is it obligatory to obey one’s father in choosing a wife for marriage?
Disobeying the parents in such a matter is not considered as ingratitude (Uqooq), but one should refrain from breaking the relationship with them because of such an issue.
Q [9]  If my dad tells me to shave my beard, is it obligatory for me to shave it?
It is prohibited to shave the beard. It is not obligatory to obey the father in the said case.
Q [10]  My mother has recently told me that if I do something – which the Sharia clearly allows – she will not forgive me and ask Allah Almighty not to forgive me as well. Would I be committing a sin if I disobeyed her, considering that the act is allowed by the Sharia?
It is not obligatory to obey your mother in all what she asks from you. However, it is obligatory to be dutiful with her and deal with her nicely.

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